Fill'er up!
Self-care as a simple necessity, not a luxury.
Mastering the Morning
My internal monologue begins even before I open my eyes in the morning. It’s how I know I’m awake—the sudden jolt of energy in thought. I make attempts to fall back asleep, but once it’s running, it’s running. Evergreen to-do lists. Plans. Worries. Reflections. Memories. Even after deep rest, I typically wake up scattered.
In response, I’ve been curiously observing how I manage my energy in the morning. I’ve noticed if I pick up my phone to turn off the alarm and my fingers mysteriously venture to a text or email, my attention is immediately siphoned and diverted to attend to someone else’s needs or concerns. When this happens, I may not fully return to myself until the late afternoon. The mornings that I intentionally ask myself (in third person, to create some distance) “What does Chaz need?” my day is primed to meet my needs first, even as I consider any responsibility to others. Asking this simple question each morning makes it easier to intentionally fill my cup first instead of unconsciously pouring myself out into a state of exhaustion.
“I have come to believe that taking care of myself is not self-indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival.” - Audre Lourde
Self-Care, Shmelf-Care
We’ve all heard the term “self-care” enough to throw up. I am here to remind you that, trending or not, it is vital and is unique to you. Self-care in my world isn’t about lavish pampering—although that can be necessary and wonderful—it’s about simple, daily rituals that allow me to tap into joy, restoration, comfort, or peace regardless of what I may be facing that day.
Self-care is often conflated with selfishness. For me, taking care of myself is about being selfish, but in a way that allows me to be in healthy relationship with others. As social beings, belonging to like-hearted community is a major form of self-care. And in reciprocity, taking care of ourselves first is crucial to best show up in community without the futility of self-sacrifice and burnout.
Taking care of myself can look like:
Sunbathing for 20 minutes
Taking a shower by candlelight
A quick guided EFT tapping session when overwhelmed
FaceTiming my sister
Self-compassion by allowing myself to feel any emotion without judgement
Putting on the fuzziest, softest pair of socks
Going for a jog around the neighborhood
Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate
Hugging my partner for a full minute
Telling my family I need a moment alone
Limiting screen time or social media usage
Grounding—placing my bare feet in the grass
Putting in headphones/ear plugs when audibly overstimulated
The ways I’ve learned to care for myself don’t require me to spend a dime or serve as a means of escape from my everyday reality. Life is challenging enough as it is and there is still an abundance of moments in a day that can be nourishing, restorative, and sweet. Those moments exist for you too. What will you fill them up with to care for yourself?
Journal Prompts | Get Curious About Yourself
How does my current morning routine affect my day?
Who do I spend the most time with and how do I feel afterwards?
What are my current spiritual hygiene practices?
What type of physical movement makes me feel energized and fully connected to my body?
What truly relaxes me? How often do I get to do this?
Take care of yourself—body, mind, and spirit.
If you see me, I see you.
